loralees-freshed-over-noodles

I'm SO excited. I've NEVER been tagged and Loralee just honored me with my very first tag!
Yee haw!! (Yee haw????) Okay.....here goes......

Have you had sex in the past 24 hours? No
Are you gay? No, I like the other team's equipment, but I have had my little lesbian fantasies
Do you have hairy legs? Usually. I hate shaving and I ALWAYS cut my legs.
Do you smoke anything? No. My dad died of lung cancer and I think smoking is evil.
Do you like monkeys? My son is a monkey and I love him more than life itself.
How many fillings do you have? 5 or 6. Of course, one of them has fallen out and I have a great, big, gaping hole in my molar.
Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake? Ocean! I'm terrified of the ocean but I love it too. It's a love/hate thing.
Have you ever licked one of those square batteries? No, and as Ms. Choate asked WHY??
Have you ever read the Bible? Not much. I tried at one point, to read some every night, but there were too many names and too many people "begatting" people. I couldn't keep up.
Did you ever go to Sunday School? Yes. Once had a minister tell my friend and I, who were giggling in the back, that...."the last girl who did that (giggle) in my class got in a car wreck." Yeah. That's the way to keep 'em coming back to Sunday School.
Do you wear a lot of black? LOTS of black. My favorite color to wear. PLUS it's slimming.
Did you ever bring a weapon to school? No....unless you count my rapier sharp wit.
Have you ever hugged a tree? I think I did once.
Do you know what a sphincter actually is? Yeah.
Describe your hair? It used to be luscious, thick, curly and beautiful. My hairdresser once called me a "walking billboard" for her. Now it's dry, frizzy and gray. It's still thick though!
Are you a wildbeast? Used to be. Now I'm a domestic pet.
Do you like to have fun? Um.....does the sun rise every morning??
Do you like drama? No. I've had my quota.
Have you ever taken a bong hit? No
Do you like mayonnaise? Yes.
Are you afraid to die? No. After watching my father die I'm alright with it. I'd have to say that what does freak me out a bit is the thought of something so familar (i.e. your body, lungs, kidneys, etc.) shutting down and any kind pain that will be involved.
Do you like playing in leaves? I did when I was a kid. Haven't done it in awhile though.
Have you ever peed your pants as an adult? Yes
Have you ever thrown up on somebody as an adult? Yes.
Are you an adult? Sometimes.
Ever won a spelling bee? No.
Do you ever eat because you are depressed? HELL, YES! And by the size of me it appears that I'm depressed a lot!
Are you a television addict? No
Do you think OJ was guilty? HELL YES.
Do you enjoy spending time with your mother? Yes. As much as we drive each other nuts we do laugh a lot and have great conversations.
Have you ever had sex in a hot tub? No, but I gave a BJ to someone in one once.
On a swing? No.
Do you like Elvis? Could take him or leave him.
Do you enjoy watching animals do it on the Discovery channel? Not really, no.
Ever been hit on at a zoo? No.
Have you ever had sex with a total stranger? Yes.
Do you enjoy the calming effects of turkeys? When I'm stressed I always conjure up the vision of several turkeys.
Does your mom think someone is hot? Yeah. Johnny Depp.
Are you a sugar freak? Yes.
Ever been arrested? No
Ever commit a crime and get away with it? Depends on what you're calling a "crime."
Do you like orange juice? Yeah. Mixed with cranberry juice and ice....mmmmmm!
What sign are you? Cancer
Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly? I don't even know what the "party boy" dance is and I am the elderly.
Where do you wish you were right now? At Disneyland with small child and small child's dad.
Did you enjoy this? Yeah. I think crap like this is fun and it's even more special cause LL tagged me!

Tagging: Erin, Sharon, Barry, & Alex.....(who now hates me for life and thinks I suck. But I CAN'T WAIT to see his answers.....)