loralees-freshed-over-noodles

This is a true story. I will not change my name to protect the innocent because this is a good story. It has been a great day. And it all started even before I had my coffee! I ran into my English teacher in the parking lot this morning. We chit-chatted a bit. As we were walking to the campus he said, and I quote, "I really enjoyed your reading log. I can tell that you're engaged in the story." Then I said, "Yay!"....gee....how intellectual of me. Then, of course, I went to the student cafe and got my big, giant, huge mocha. Got myself settled in class. He then proceeded to read three student reading logs out loud stating that they were very good examples of what he expected from the reading logs. Well. I know, I know. You already know. But. I'm going to say it anyway.....to my astonishment THE FIRST ONE THAT HE READ WAS MINE! Can I tell you how encouraging this is for me?? Can I? Okay. I will. This is just so encouraging for me! I mean, after not being in class for 25 years....well....it makes me feel that maybe....just MAYBE I'll be able to acheive those A's that I'm dreaming of! It may well be a reality!

Of course, I have found a way to trivialize this little victory. I was telling small child's dad that I am the oldest person in my class. I think that the average age range is 18 to 22.... so I feel it's sort of akin to the Seinfeld episode when Kramer is kicking butt in his karate class....he's so proud....he can whip all of the other students butts. Then we find out that all of the other students in his karate class are 9 and 10! It's hilarious. Ahhhh! To hell with trivializing my small acheivement. I'm proud and I'm happy and I'm encouraged right now! I'm just going to let myself have this today! I ROCK!

It appears that one of my dear friends is having to quote: "a sucky suck of a day". I don't know what has happened but I do know that she has been hurt. Someone has hurt this little sparkling jewel of a friend. Hurt her to the point of making her physically ill. This post is to remind her of the sparkling jewel that she is. This post is to let her know that all of the people that you dub "friend" do not hide things, lie and betray you. This post is to let her know that her true friends....yes....even the internet ones....love the wonderful, wacky, sparkly, looney, flawed, human, funny, sexy, intelligent and beautiful woman that she is. And this post is to remind her that we will try to never hurt her. And if we do it won't be with horribe things like lies and betrayals. It will be with human mistakes that we will be sorry for. This post is for her. So that when she does her trolling tonight there will be something lovely and beautiful for her to read about herself so that she may go to sleep with a little bit of a smile in her heart. This post is from one of her friends......

It's been a tough week. I feel so overwhelmed. There is going to be A LOT of homework. I've been wondering what in the hell I've gotten myself into but I had something really cool happen in one of my classes last week. I had to do a writing sample in English. Teacher said that a lot of people get mis-placed in the class because the placement test is multiple choice and they luck out with their answers. I was nervous but I got my paper back. It said that I was capable of passing the class. The REALLY great thing is.....Teacher wrote "very good" on my paper. That was all the sign I needed that I CAN do this. Sorry I haven't written but there has been HELLA reading and HELLA writing. Then to top it all off I had FOUR gigs this week end, I also had two of small child's soccer games to attend and a paper for psychology to write all on minimal hours of sleep. WOOOOO! HOOOO! Yikes! I'm going to bed here in a minute but I just wanted to let you all know....especially Loralee (Thing One) that I am indeed alive and well.....actually alive and very, very TIRED!

So. Three classes missed on Monday. Same three classes attended today. Whew!
All's well that ends well.

I feel like I have the brain of an inept 46 year old woman.....oh....wait a minute.....I do.
First yesterday's mishap. Now this....Oh....you don't know? Oh, well. Let me tell you what I just did. I've been here at my computer up-dating the small child's soccer game schedule, sending my e-mails to the soccer parents....."laminate tags or embroidery on the bag?" (this is because one of the soccer parents complained adamantly about them having NO embroidery on them for the love of God! And I'm in charge of the uniforms for the team this year so I'm responsible for the "embroidery or laminate" dilemma).....then I waded through some papers for school....and checked my calendar for gigs that might conflict with soccer games. Oh. Yes. Did I mention that BEFORE I started doing all of these little things.....did I just happen to mention that I turned the water on in the kitchen sink to soak some dishes?? Yes. The water. On. Full force. Yeah. All the way up. Uh huh, Uh-huh! While I was doing all of my little things at the computer the water was running. Yes. Yes. Right. The water was on. The whole time.

S-I-G-H! Oh well.....the kitchen floor needed a good cleaning anyway......

So. Today I get up. A relaxing sort of morning. Have a nice little IM session with Alex. Go visit the neighbors. Come back home. Hmmmmm. "I think I'll check my e-mail." says I. What is that? Who is this e-mail from?? I better open it..... "Loralee we missed you in class today. Are you planning on being there on Wednesday?"

WHAT?........WHAT? (I blink. I rub my eyes.) I look again and again I hear myself saying.....WHAT? Of course, I'll be there on Wednesday because that is when school starts! I saw signs at the JC that said that school started on August 23rd. I SAW THEM! I KNOW I SAW THEM! (Did I see them? Did I really see them?) BUT IT'S ON MY CALENDAR, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! I START SCHOOL ON WEDNESDAY!! (The elementary school across the street starts on Wednesday....so we MUST start on Wednesday.) But, apparently everyone else started school today. Great. Great. That's just great. I missed 3 classes today. THREE! Yeah! I'm not sure if this is any kind of indication of what my semester is going to be like. It's either going to be really crappy (which I choose not to believe) or this is going to be the worst thing that happens all semester (which is what I choose to believe...I hope I'm right...please let me be right!)

Way to start your new school adventure, Loralee! SIGH! I thought that I was sooooo on it.....sooooo organized! I had my "Hello, Kitty" folder & lunchbox. My pencils were sharpened. I bought new erasers. I was ready. I was ahead of the game! I was so excited. You all know. You read my "I'm so excited to go to school" post. I called all three of the teachers today. I left messages. "Yes," I said, "Yes. I AM in your class. PLEASE don't drop me! PLEASE don't drop me." Really. Not after all of the time and preparation that I've put in.

I took an unmotivated walk over to the small child's Dad's house next door. I told him the whole sordid story. I was THIS CLOSE to crying. Small child's Dad assured me that I would not be dropped. He assured me that everything will be okay and to not be too hard on myself. He assured me that I really haven't missed anything. Small child's Dad is a college graduate so I'm going to believe him. I will believe him. I DO believe him. He's been to college.... he knows.

So. Officially, everyone else started school today. I will start tomorrow. Yes. For sure. I KNOW this now. Uh-huh....tomorrow. Loralee starts school tomorrow. SIGH!

So. We all know that the small child's Dad and I are not "together" as a unit. But we must be co-parenting well together. We must be doing something right because yesterday the small child got into the car and said, "Mom, you and Dad are a nice couple." I said, "We're a nice couple, huh?" And he said, "Yeah. I like the pair of you."

Come on! Let's hear it for the good 'ol push up bra! Every woman needs to own a good push up bra. Doesn't matter how old you are. Doesn't matter how big or small you are. A good push-up bra does all of the work, you wear a nice little low cut number flaunting your decolletage and you get all of the kudos....You come home from dinner or dancing or....or...a GIG for that matter feeling like Sophia Loren....or Pamela Anderson...or just the lovely and sexy woman that YOU are.....And not only do you feel like the lovely and sexy woman that you are....apparently some of the young men.....and older men....and middle aged men....notice the lovely and sexy woman that you are. Just cause you wore that push up bra. Just cause you looked sexy. Just cause you FELT sexy. So....come on....let's hear it for the good 'ol push up bra!!!

Yes. Yes. It is true. The gossip....the rumors that are flying....."Does she really?" "Is it true?"
"Did you hear?" "You're not joking? It really is true?" Yes. Yes. And again.....Yes. I have my links up. I could not have done it without small child's Dad. He rocks! Many kudos and thank you's to small child's Dad. Also, many thank you's to Alex for lighting the "fire under my ass" to get it done and for waiting on stand by "just in case." So....with my blessings....I say...LINK AWAY ONE AND ALL!

Well. After reading Erin's blog and reading Mighty Mouse's comments on Erin's blog I have a blog topic for tonight.
It appears that a lot of you are upset about Erin not having a TV when she goes to Baltimore.
Well.....get this.....I haven't had TV (not the actual set) in my home for about 7 years.....okay.....
I'll wait for those of you that need to get up off of the floor. La, di, da, di, da, dum, dum....okay....
are you back?? Yeah. No Cable. No Dish. No Reception. No, no, no.....none. We do watch DVDs and old videos....yes....I said videos.....what of it?? Here's something shocking as well. The small child's Dad has the same set-up at his house.....gasp! Yeah. I'll wait again.......are you back up....off of the floor?? Let me explain, let me explain. I used to be a big TV head. Back in the days of "Friends" "E.R" "Law & Order" I even taped my shows....yes....the damned VCR again....I'm old....what can I say?? When small child's dad and I split up and I moved out it just became an affordibility thing. It's expensive, man! And it's gotten even more expensive through the years! As small child got older we noticed that it was really, really serving him not having television in either home....so....now we have "no TV" by choice and the beauty of it is.....small child could CARE LESS about TV. He's not materialistic. He still sees Sponge Bob when he has the urge. You turn on the TV at his Nana and Grand Dad's or at Gramma's and he watches for about 2 minutes then he runs off outside to play. It's really great. Me. I miss it sometimes but I get a fix when I visit my mom....or my aunt. And to tell you the truth they each have about 6,465 channels and I find that there's nothing on. Oh. And now I read more than ever. I cannot tell you how much I LOVE to read so there is compensation for no screen time. And the small child reads more than other kids....so that's good too. So. If I don't post on a blog that's talking about some fabulous show that's on....you'll know why....it's cause I don't know what in the hell you all are talking about......

Okay. It's 12:17am (California time.) I just got home from mixing two songs. So. The day ended not so badly. It started out for SHIT! And from trolling all of your blogs it seems the same for a lot of you. What was it about this day? I was having such major depression. Woke up with a headache. Wanted to cry about everything. My electric window, on the driver's side in my car, broke. I wanted to cry. Went to run errands today. Wanted to smack people. Wanted to cry some more. Went to small child's soccer practice and.....and....I was so grumpy that I almost qualified for "soccer mom" status. GASP!
Then....I went into the city....(San Francisco for those of you who don't know).....and I got to hang out with one of my all time favorite people. We mixed two songs, that we are submitting for an indie album. They turned out really, really great. We drank wine. We laughed. What a fabulous night! And now I feel just like Erin's quote (see post title) right now. I think the only thing that could've topped the entire evening off was to have martini's on Martini Monday with Erin, Loralee, Alex, Sharon, MM, my best friend Melisa (pronounced Me - Leesa) and my beautiful and darling Melisa (pronounced Melissa.) All the stars would've been aligned just perfectly, and, even if they weren't we wouldn't have noticed cause we would've all been three sheets to the wind! Or as Erin would say......WOOOOOOOO! Mwaaha!

First off.....I need to clarify that I AM the world's biggest, hugest and largest computer illiterate.
You can tell this by my pre-fab template. I just wanted to let you know that I am working on getting a blog roll going (Thanks, Alex, for putting the fire under my ass!) and getting you all up there. What is it....all 5 of you?? I really, really enjoy your visits and am so appreciative of them.....as you are all so well established in the blog world. All your templates are so beautiful and sophisticated and then there's.....well.....me. I am hoping to learn as I go and become one of you fairly soon. Hang in there with me, okay? I'm just starting to get a feel for this whole thing so hopefully I'll come along fairly soon......

ARGH! I'm soooo impatient today and it's not even noon! I find, now that I'm off of my Prozac, that I'm a little angrier and a little more impatient. It's A LOT of work to be off of my Prozac.
I have to be conscious ALL of the time. Of every thought!
I suppose to be the best possible person that I can be I should to be conscious all the time anyway. There's always a little voice inside that has to rein me in saying things like, "Okay, Loralee, calm down." "Loralee take the higher road." "Why are you so mad, Loralee?" "Okay, Loralee, what do we need to do now?" (Wow. Just reading this makes me tired.) Like I said before it's A LOT of work!
And you can't really explain depression to people who don't suffer it. You can't explain the anxiety, the lows, the self deprecation, the being "so over whelmed" feelings, the "what's wrong with me?" thoughts that you have. (I have tried to explain myself to my Mom, and God bless her, she tries to understand but she can't relate at all as she is not depressed. Neither is my brother. My Dad was.) And it's not like those things are going on inside of you 24/7. I have a wonderful life and I'm very content. I am, indeed, very blessed.
It's just something that you have to deal with.

I have people say to me all of the time, "Wow! You sure don't seem like you're a depressed person!" I understand where they're coming from because I laugh A LOT! I'm bubbly, I'm funny and I have fun. (Did you know that a huge percentage of comedians are clinically depressed? Humor is a great way to mask things.) Also, I'm a communicator and I have a good time wherever I go. I guess this is why people don't understand it. It seems like such a contradiction. And, of course, there are varying degrees of depression. I'm pretty sure mine is a mild degree.

Anyway, this post took an entirely different direction than I intended. Guess I needed to vent, huh? I don't feel so impatient anymore. Not quite as angry. Sigh. Thank you all for listening...

I am so not a soccer mom. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so not. NOT. I'm just not.
I love taking the small child to soccer practice. I love watching him play. I love
that he loves it......but I stay in the car. (These next few statements exclude Ruth, Tony, Kim, Rich, Eric, Debbie and the other soccer parents on small child's team. Very cool people.) I watch all the other soccer moms mingle. I watch all the other soccer dads mingle. I watch them all chat to each other about each other behind each other's backs. I watch them chat about each other's children behind each others backs. UGH! I just don't get it. So, again, I must reiterate.....I AM SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO NOT a soccer mom.

Okay. I am SOOOOOOO excited. I'm going back to community college this fall! Working towards getting my Associates degree. What's really terrific is that it is one of the top community colleges in California. And believe me you (I've always wanted to say that) we have a lot of community colleges in California! I feel so blessed to live within close proximity to this particular college.

Anyway, today the small child and I spent the afternoon on campus taking care of some things. I felt soooo student like. (I just had to pretend that the small child was a teeny, tiny co-ed strolling along with me....it was hard at moments....like for instance, when he was singing the "Star Wars" game boy theme at the top of his lungs or when he was jumping around like a monkey and repeating the phrase, "I'm hungry!" every 5 seconds or, for that matter, when he was interuppting me and the counselor....yeah....we're still working on the interuppting thing I say ashamedly....to alert the counselor that he was getting a hair cut today and to ask her if she thought that he looked like a twelve year old instead of a nine year old.....although.....I have a feeling that I've just described some "real life" co-eds....just replace the "twelve year old & nine year old" part with "twenty one year old & nineteen year old"!)

Okay, so first, we met up with my re-entry counselor. She was so amazing. A very special woman and I glad that I got to meet her today. She touched my heart with some amazing, spiritual "life" experiences that she's had! After we chatted we got down to school biz. Added a class (Child Development) and dropped a class (History of Jazz). So.....this semester I'm taking:

Psychology 1A
History of the United States
English 1A
Child Development

Ooooooooh! Do I not sound like a scholarly scholar??

Next, we were off to the Financial Aid office. My tuition will be paid for this semester because I am sooooo poverty level broke......so cool! (Ahem! Not the poverty level broke part.)

When we were finished there, the teeny tiny co-ed and I mosied over to the scholarship office.
Grabbed a bunch of fliers, pamphlets and catalogues containing information on how "you too can have many, many scholarships and grants."

Then it was off to the Career Center to purchase some tests to help me figure out "what I want to be when I grow up." I took a Career Counseling class last week-end (got 1 unit & an A+...YAY!) to help me hone in on a major. Of course, my test scores in the class were off the charts for anything artistic and creative (i.e. singer, actress, writer, comedian, cartoonist.....DUH!) so I had to look at what came up next on some of the tests for me. Not suprisingly, they were pretty much all altruistic careers (i.e......isn't this little "i.e." thingy handy? ....Anyway.....i.e. any type of therapist, counselor, teacher, psychologist, and, I had to save the best for last cause Thing One is gonna flip at this one.....SPEECH PATHOLOGIST!)

I'm leaning majorly (ha! Get it? ha! "majorly?"...."majorly?"....MAJOR...and Thing One thinks she's the bigger dork!) towards family counseling and a little towards teaching small children. I was very interested in Speech Pathology but I found out today that I would have to take classes all the way in Sacra-tomato. Too far. (You would think that Sonoma State or San Francisco State would offer courses.....would you not?? I mean.....the Bay Area being the bustling metropolis that it is?) As far as counseling and/or teaching goes....well...I'm just gonna have to spend some time researching and doing some interviewing of folks in these occupations. Stay tuned and see how it all unfolds!

Well.....that was my day....so exciting.....a new path....new people.....new ideas....knowledge. Wow! I can't wait..... Oh yeah! And my son did get a hair cut!

Words to live by: When you are livid with your child.....when you are seeing red....and you think that you'll explode....do not.....I repeat....DO NOT use the word "shennanigans." (i.e. "I've had it with your "shennanigans!") They WILL laugh. They WILL repeat the word and they WILL laugh again. For example:

(True re-enactment):

Grown Up: I have had it with your "shennanigans!

Small Child: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Shennanigans! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!


"Uh-Uh" doesn't work either. For example:

(Another true re-enactment):

Grown Up: Stop fooling around! If you break that.... it's gonna be uh-uh!

Small Child: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! You said, "uh-uh", Mom! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

These are just small little words of advice to all parents. They are designed to save you the complete parental humiliation that I have encountered.

(Warning: For those of you thinking about or just about to add a small child to your household.... This is a true story. Terrifying but true. This will be you in a few years and there is nothing you can do about it. Really. I am so serious. Let it be known to all that I've warned you!)

These conversations take place in my home.....at the very least....842 times a day. He is only nine and the fun is just beginning. I tell myself to get used to it. Doesn't really help....sigh!

Grown Up: Small child, go and brush your hair.

Small Child: I don't want to brush my hair.

Grown Up: Not wanting to brush it is not an option. Go and brush your hair.

Small Child: But I like my hair this way.

Grown Up: Go and brush your hair, small child.

Small Child: Mom, I REALLY don't want to brush it. It looks good like this.

Grown Up: It does NOT look good like that. You look like a vagabond child. Go and brush it.

Small Child: Why?

Grown Up: Alright. We will stay home. We will not go to Andrew's birthday party. I will have to tell Andrew that not brushing your hair was more important to you than going to his party.....

Small Child: Oh alright.....I'll go brush it.

Sigh! Do we see the makings of an attorney here?

So exhausting. But at least this argument was only about hair. I can't wait for the teen year arguments.......

Money!
Bills!
MONEY!
BILLS & MORE BILLS!
money!
BILLS! BILLS! BILLS!
money??
BILLS! LOTS OF BILLS!
money....please??
Ah-ha,ha,ha,ha,ha! B-I-L-L-S! BILLS!
money?.......SIGH!

Okay. It is late. I don't have much to say. But it's a new blog. I felt that I should post something. So. Here I am. Not much to say really. Just wanted to show you that I am committed to doing this. (Or should I be committed for doing this?? I don't know. It's late.
I can't make a decision right now.) I....I...I just didn't want to be like that person who says, "So, I'll call you." And then they don't. And then you get all depressed and eat that half gallon of Ben & Jerrys or drink that pint of vanilla vodka . I really felt that I owed you..... yes....you....all two of my readers a little something more. A little something to say, "I'm here for you and I will call....well....er... in this case.....post." A little something to let all two of you know that you mean something to me. This is NOT a superficial relationship. You mean so much more to me than that. So. Here it is. A post. God. I feel so drained right now. Why am I always the one doing the work in this relationship?? Huh?? I just feel like you take, take, take.....while I just give, give, give myself away to you. What more do you want from me? I have nothing left to give. I think we should seriously discuss counseling.......

A fly woke me up this morning. At an unnecessary hour. Which in turn got me to thinking...."Why did God create flies?" (or for that matter ticks, mosquitoes, fleas, "insert your annoying creature here.") Was he grumpy that day? When he was in "creation mode" was he on auto pilot? Was he the over whelmed parent that day? I DO NOT get it. I've heard that flies pollinate onions. Is this it? Is this why? If you like onions I suppose that is a redeeming quality but really....is this it?? Is this what they do besides being filthy and annoying us and waking us at unnecessary hours because they happened to sneak into your home?

Another thing I was pondering this A.M. (as I was lying in bed after the fly woke me) is why does a 46 year old woman still have to contend with facial blemishes?? Especially around her nose?? Come on, I'm handling the gray hair, the wrinkles, the effects of gravity on my once supple face and body....but zits? And why around my nose?

After reading this post I have decided that I have tooooo much time on my hands. And today, I have a few hours extra thanks to the fly......sigh!

Okay. Miss Choate (and by all means, the rest of you) have inspired me to do this. I'm terrified! It's so much fun to make comments on other people's blogs....let's see how much fun
this is.....